Wet dreams

Last night I had a sex dream. I dreamt I was with a guy. Cute and all but there was a sense enough to know that I didn’t love him or anything just thought he was cute, average overall personality included. But he thought he was fly. Any who he was slim, dark with the head side shaved and he had a bit of a over confidence to him. We were there talking and I could tell I was forcing it, I dunno to claim him as a bf? I have never been desperate in my whole life except for a few movie stars and artists so i’m wondering why so desperate.

So we randomly just like that like my brain couldn’t be bothered and wanted to get to the good part ended up in bed. My legs are spread and he’s resting in between and I can feel his erect penis. It wasn’t big nor small, just right size.So we’re kissing you know warm up. (and the sheets are white which is typical) . I’m stroking him and he”s moaning through the kisses. And then he says “Ready?”. I reply “Yeah”. But I know i’m not ready and i’m having second thoughts because i’m looking at him knowing I have no feelings and this isn’t how I wanted it to happen. I’m having a mini freak out. I think to myself might as well do it and get it over with. Experience life.  He pushes against my opening and slides in and i’m a bit surprised it didn’t hurt and he asks again how i’m doing and I say fine.He starts stroking me, picking up pace as he goes in and out. I can feel myself tightening around him and I’m enjoying it, moving and feeling the new weight in me. Fast forward he acts like he doesn’t know me and I have a mini break down finding out he used me so he could say he bagged a virgin.  And i’m all  devastated thinking I could’ve saved it for somebody I loved or loved me back. And I had it for so long and I just feel ruined. This panic, that it’s gone and I wasted it on that turtle head. And I  know I could never have it back. Long story short I’ve been looking at guys with the side eye ever since lol.

Boy am I extra.

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