-Mom! Are you listening ? So Tyga was with blac chyna and he dumped her for one of the Kardashi- , Mom are you even hearing me ?
“Yes I’m listening !”
-Mom why do you buy these awful biscuits ? nobody eats these except you and their so boring and awful ,Mom please stop buying them .
” I like them , I always just pick them up as a snack ”
-Mom there’s a huge ass big eyed tarantula in there this big !!!
” It’s just a baby teeny weeny spider Alexandria calm down ”
-Mom is my ass too small ?
“No you’re perfect , there’s nothing wrong with your ass , it looks bigger to me .”
-Mom you should see his body ughhh , he was foine , you know fine !
“He was ok ”
-Mom are you sleeping ?
” Mhmm ”
-Mom what if I can’t have kids
“I’d still love you and you can always adopt if you really want kids and science has advanced over the years you can get a surrogate , in vitro fertilisation etc ”
-Mom what if I was born looking like this ?
“I’d still love you”
-Mom I love you so much remember the oreos, okay sweetie pie sugar plum ,you gorgeous woman ?
“Yeah yeah ”
-Mom don’t download the app from the running phone slow ad it’s a malware virus !
“But it says my phone isn’t functioning! What’s going on with it !?”
Mom I think i’m dying , i’m not going to live , kill me and get it over with , I can’t go on any longer ,i’m never having kids .
“Did you take your iron ? that’s why your period is so painful and Alexandria you haven’t taken the tablet I gave you yet for your menstrual pain .”
-Mom this is to die for .
“No that color is not for you , take it off quick .”
-Mom this outfit though !!!
“I’m raising a young lady not a hooker .You’re not wearing that not even over my dead body ”
-I was being sarcastic you know I wouldn’t wear anything like this , right ?
-Mom I looked it up I WAS RIGHT !!!!!
“Yeah yeah get over yourself , happy now big head ?”
-Mom there’s so much to do and I don’t have enough time and what if I fail , what if I can’t do it ?
” Take a deep breath , eat some food , sleep a little and tonight i’m going to sit up with you while you do your assignment ok ? One step at a time Alexandria , it’s not the end of the world , just a difficult situation , you”ll get it done ”
Snippets of conversations that I secretly love that my mom and I have had over the years .What’s one of yours ?