DAY 15 :MY ELASTIC HEART

It’s funny how every thing can be going great , a new year , new possibilities .And then you break , you just break .You feel sad and you start worrying about the little things and you crave for someone to talk to but you feel like your in an empty room all by yourself and the walls are coming in .

I’ve always had a bad temper .A disastrous one .It’s just that for years i’ve managed to contain it .Because of my fear of saying something i don’t mean , of hurting someones feelings .But that dissolved and the more i did the better i felt .You know hurting some one’s feelings .Even if they had it coming i now realise that i would just go off .Then the panic comes after .

If i feel angry and sad with myself why shouldn’t everyone else .And that scares me .It’s like getting on a bus and half way through you’re realising your in the wrong town .

I had an Indian chat/sex chat  buddy , I don’t know what really happened I was talking to him on whatsapp and something just clicked . Like a switch went off and before you know it dude got cursed out and block . I woke up this morning thinking oh no .But relieved . I think i’ve also grown , my tolerance level for people has decreased . And i haven’t unblocked him because for a weird reason i feel lighter .

Also i just watched the new sia video ft shia lebouf and i just feel sad and horny , i mean the dude is naked and he’s in these tight hot breifs and you should see his body . Damn i’d bounce around in a cage for free .I’m just saying he is fiinnne . Alright imma stop now .

Also i dont have a id and i’m worried as hell  because i have a job interview tomorrow and i’m scared as hell .And it’s a must , a requirement . I feel so stupid .How can i be twenty and not have an id .I’m so stupid . I should’ve gone much sooner . And i don’t have drivers license i think i would kill people for fun .I’ve watched too much cyanide and happiness to be driving now .

My mom did promise to send me to learn to drive .ooh well .But as they say don’t count your eggs before they hatch.Lets be realistic i’m twenty with a bad temper , who the fuck is gonna hire me ?

Pornnhub . lol . well .

Have a good day .

xoxo

Alexandria

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