DAY 11 : GET ON YOUR KNEES BABY JUST GET ON YOUR KNEES , SAY PRETTY PLEASE .GOT A BOW ON MY A PANTY CAUSE MY ASS IS A PRESENT.

So listen up  here’s my newly revised 2015 mating list .Yeah a mating list , of all the things i want in a mate .Because lets face it we probably weren’t made to fall in love and all that crap .We were probably made to mate . Just fuck and reproduce but also taking into consideration your resources .So her’s mineeee ! :

1. Hygiene is a must , i’m not expecting perfection but you should be able to the basics .Bathe/Shower at least 5 times or 4 during the week i’m just saying thats the least you shoud be doing but everyday would be more ideal .

2.Teeth .You can’t be seriously looking a girl and dude you ain’t remembered the last time you brushed your teeth . Dude i aint trying to catch no disease from what the fuck you got going in your mouth .Note : your teeth and my yellow tshirt shud not be the same colour .

3.Now what you wear is important .If you like to crossdress i won’t date you because i don’t what you are , you don’t know what you are ! .I dont know if one day your gonna wake up and say gay or you want to switch gender .I’m just saying please exit left .

4.You gotta be able to take a joke and be funny .We can’t be texting and two minutes in im falling asleep , or scrolling my twitter feed .Or you’re just plain rude .You just texting me and you want to see pussy and breast and butthole .Please exit this isn’t pornhub . Note : I have never visited that site on multiple occasions when randomly lonely and horny .

5.I gotta be able to introduce you to my parents and friends . If i can’t even introduce you to my dog because your attitude stinks or your too sadistic or you know what i mean  . You gotta know basic mannerisms .Please and thank you . I aint dating no tarzan , you need to watch some dora and boots .Gracias , de nada , say it with me !

6.You have to manage my mood swings .I’m a girl .I get my urethra , fallopian tubes and vagina ripped out every month ,you can’t expect me to be in love with you all the time .Especially when you never have to feel it .Because your a man .So be patient at least a week every month . If i eat junk food and lay on the carpet in awkward positions moaning and groaning .Be quiet , nobody wants to hear you .Its my show not yours .Rude.

7. This is a partnership you spend ,  i spend . So if you expect me to always spend you’re expecting charity and i only donate once or twice a year .

8. There are common courtesies that are expected , i know this isn’t the victorian age but listen  you can’t expect me to lift and move all the heavy things and groceries while you turn the car around .This aint the flintstones .Bitch you betta let me turn the car around  while you carry in the groceries . With your lazy ass.Or we do it together .

9.If we both afraid of spiders .What you still doing here , I need a spider warrior . Not another me .

10 .You have to be ambitious . You can’t expect life or people to hand you things . People don’t owe you anything .

What are you looking ?

Comment if you think my list is utterly  ridiculous or anything else .

xoxo

Alexandria

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8 thoughts on “DAY 11 : GET ON YOUR KNEES BABY JUST GET ON YOUR KNEES , SAY PRETTY PLEASE .GOT A BOW ON MY A PANTY CAUSE MY ASS IS A PRESENT.

  1. Kudos to a true feminist.. Spending equally and carrying groceries together among the rest of your checklist items are not only just and sensible but also a necessity of you ask me..

    Also, I belive you on item 4 “I have never visited that site on multiple occasions when randomly lonely and horny”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I got another semi hard aroused dick just reading this, hell no you ain’t asking too much and if you do get some panty waste dude like that just check his dick and see if its bigger than mine I might cut his off since he aint goin to be using it anyways and have a surgery operation and throw my peice of wasted flesh away……..

    Liked by 1 person

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