I’ve been having writer’s block, straddling between do I want to go on a blog and tout my feelings to my 3 random likes who probably just like for like back sake in a series of whiplash posts titled or holding the theme of i’m feeling happy, sad and deep. My boyfriend just told me i’m lazy, I am but I feel as if i’m always tired and if not I just can’t be bothered to attempt something that will feel unfulfilling and end up being a bad experience or a waste of effort. I’ve been thinking of giving this a long break, maybe 6 months to a year and come back and look at who I used to be. We always think we are great in a moment and time always proves we are not. I just need my fear and anxiety to relax. I lay in bed in the early mornings wide awake and i’m staring at Instagram models, some looking like they can’t breathe due to botched nose jobs. I look at there pages and I feel like I can’t breathe because seeing there noses make me try to gasp for air because my mind is trying to adjust to how do they breathe. Vanity is a bitch. Time is a mirror. This world loses it’s beauty day by day, it’s like watching a color fade. I don’t feel excited for anything in this life, nothing truly exciting. Maybe that’s my problem, i’m ungrateful.

I used to want to be famous, rich and glamorous. Maybe being poor isn’t so bad. I’m just tired, i’m going to give this a break. I guess i’ll let you know what the future is like maybe 6 months from now. Maybe I need to live a little.