Coffee Toffee

I’ve become more aware since the other day that i’m actually an adult. Yep i’m 23 but I don’t feel like it. I feel like i’m just turning 18 and the world and reality has just arrived at my doorstep. I also feel torn between being young and being old. I consider 24 and up old age. I know its weird but I just feel like once you hit 24 you’re no longer liable to being young, wild and free. That’s the age I see people really figuring out life; getting married, starting their family; trying to get that steady job; having friends over and discussing grown up things like politics, vacation spots, food and just life.  I’ve also realised the things I can attain, that just because I want to do something doesn’t mean it will happen. Actions count not empty dreams. Its easy to want something and expect it to happen overnight.

But all I can think about is I want a house. Nothing grand just a beautiful house with lands stretching out on both sides. I want dogs. I want peace and quiet and waking up early in the mornings when the sky barely has any sketch of light blue or orange and just making coffee. And you can hear the radio playing soothing reggae in the background and maybe the tv news going, with what the weather is like and i”ll just sit there and watch the world begin. Just sit on those steps, enjoying morning chill and just drink coffee or maybe i’ll just have ginger tea instead. But that’s what made me realize i’m getting old.  That I can do that one thing for the rest of my life.



Happy New Year! I hope this year brings you guys happiness and all that good stuff. But here are foods that you guys should try because they are the best things in life and i’m not kidding. Here are my top 5 foods of all time that owns my soul:

  1. Stouffers sphagetti and meatballs. Nothing compares to this and yes I have eaten up to 3 in a day or more. It is addicting, it is delicious. It has a rich sauce with the perfect consistency and the meatballs is to die for.  This has a huge chunk of my soul and nothing i’ve ever tried compares to this spaghetti and meatballs which  makes you wonder, what’s in in this?

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2. KFC Jamaica- Now Jamaica is known to offer a wide array of things, rich in culture and diverse people from various walks of life. However once you try their kfc you feel robbed your entire life. They somehow manage to perfect their craft on this Caribbean island. It will make you reconsider life.

Instagram media by kfcjamaica - Add some variety by mixing your #BigDeal pieces with Original, Hot ‘N’ Spicy, or BBQ! #FingerLickinGood

Instagram media by kfcjamaica - Spicy BBQ #KFCWings are so #FingerLickinGood! Stop by and get yours later.Instagram media by kfcjamaica - Hot & Spicy #KFCWings just the way you like em! Treat yourself to a 10Pc for lunch. #FingerLickinGood


3. Hot Cheetos- It’s hot but you can’t stop eating it. Story of my life. It’s the crunchy things.

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4. Magnum ice cream bar- And the award goes to! Best ice cream iv’e ever eaten. It’s just…hard to explain.

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5. Yoplait- unexpected maybe healthy turn but yes this is a must have. Its just a must have. Its just… life.

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So now that you guys have the key to my soul. Let me know what foods I should try and what’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten or you’re addicted to?

Also drop a comment if you want me to check out your blogs below. Have a blessed day!

xoxo dueces


I have decided to start a Youtube channel! I know weird because i’m not an out going person like that and i’m also sometimes really self conscious.  I haven’t decided on a name as yet. I’m still thinking about it and what I would actually post. I’m thinking of just doing vlogs and then when I get all comfy I do an alternate channel that I post stuff on. But its so cool and I watch Youtube tons. I think everybody has a Youtube channel now. I’m not doing it for views or anything I just think it’ll be really cool and fun to do during this Christmas and also I just bought a new camera that i’m going to be practicing with for my course. SOOO what i’ll do is create an alternate WordPress and post all my pics there and you guys can view and critique them because that’s the only way i’ll get better. And they will be unedited because I feel like editing is cheating. But yeah that’s my plan for christmas right now.

I’m going to also start posting tons here, I have posted much in ages because school has been hectic this semester. But I survived another semester.

I’m also contemplating dying my hair black or dark brown because my hair is dark brown already but I feel like with some dye it would look more full, rich and healthy. It is healthy tho but I feel like the color it has now, it isn’t popping. It looks a bit dull. I’m thinking black but we’ll see i might just end up sticking with what i’ve got. Oooh and a upper ear piercing which everyone says is painful but for now i’m indecisive. Suggestions are welcome. Also going to raid some sites tonight so if you guys get mad comments you have been warned.

Hope y’all are happy and what are you doing for christmas?

I’ve missed you

I haven’t been on here in forever. Too busy catching up to the world and watching mine fall apart. Updates: 

1. I’ve been working a summer job for 2 months now. I got a 3 day suspension unfairly. Its a story I’ll tell in another post.

2.  I met a boy but …

3. I have a 2 new favorite TV shows called Insecure and Stranger things. Going to try out Power tonight.

4. I am now addicted to spaghetti and meatballs. I’ll make a post about that too. Dont get too excited its a frozen food brand.

5. I almost quit university but I thought I’m in year 3 so I might as well finish.

6. I didn’t make enough money and my mom is mad at me . I guess she wanted me to work this summer and pay next semesters school fee. 

7. I’m still lonely and hella negative now. I guess I’m just always sad.

8. I hate people. I just want to live somewhere secluded by myself. In the middle of nowhere.

9. I’m writing a book lol. Just…

10. I have no feelings. I don’t feel anything anymore and now I hurt people now more than ever. And the most I feel is just sad.  I feel like Cersei after blowing up the courtyard with all those people and my last son has committed suicide.

I feel nothing. Just a bit a sadness. Just a bit of feeling like I’m already dead.

In Another Life

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Image result for toni braxton 90s haircut

In another life I think I would’ve been a cross between Lisa Bonet and Toni Braxton. I think I would’ve been born in  the 80’s and a teen or young adult in the 90’s. Wearing short skirts, dresses and shorts not to mention short hair cuts with denim and spandex, bright colours and some fine ass dresses. I’d be blaring toni, destinys child and others from my speakers in my car. With a new hairstyle every  month or so, the maximum. I mean I remember passing or going into hairdressing salons and seeing all those gorgeous hairstyles on those 90’s posters and telling my mom which one she should get.  And yes my boyfriend would be Shemar Moore or some suave curly hair dude or just some suave looking nigga. Have you ever read the book Shy Girl? My 90’s would feel like that with a bit of christian girl Payton Skky from Stephanie Perry Moore and yes its one of my favs just a little bit too much prayer talk(if yo read you’d understand).

Image result for payton skky surrendered heart

But yeah my young adult years would’ve been everything. When I had breakups i’d listen Boyz II Men or Unbreak My Heart by Toni and my bad boy crush would probably be Tupac. And i’d want to end up marrying some gorgeous famous football player.

Image result for morris chestnut best man

My car would be apple green or red, maybe yellow same colour as my nails and I’d still have a smart mouth. When I was in love my song would be Monica- Angel of Mine,  Boys II Men.  I would lose my virginity to some smooth voice on the radio with that distinct 90’s RnB sound like If I ever fall by Shai, I’ll Make Love to You by Boys II Men or  Woman’s Worth by Maxwell. And i’d probably be married now with three kids thinking about young days. Missing them and my first love but also loving my present and feeling old.




Wet dreams

Last night I had a sex dream. I dreamt I was with a guy. Cute and all but there was a sense enough to know that I didn’t love him or anything just thought he was cute, average overall personality included. But he thought he was fly. Any who he was slim, dark with the head side shaved and he had a bit of a over confidence to him. We were there talking and I could tell I was forcing it, I dunno to claim him as a bf? I have never been desperate in my whole life except for a few movie stars and artists so i’m wondering why so desperate.

So we randomly just like that like my brain couldn’t be bothered and wanted to get to the good part ended up in bed. My legs are spread and he’s resting in between and I can feel his erect penis. It wasn’t big nor small, just right size.So we’re kissing you know warm up. (and the sheets are white which is typical) . I’m stroking him and he”s moaning through the kisses. And then he says “Ready?”. I reply “Yeah”. But I know i’m not ready and i’m having second thoughts because i’m looking at him knowing I have no feelings and this isn’t how I wanted it to happen. I’m having a mini freak out. I think to myself might as well do it and get it over with. Experience life.  He pushes against my opening and slides in and i’m a bit surprised it didn’t hurt and he asks again how i’m doing and I say fine.He starts stroking me, picking up pace as he goes in and out. I can feel myself tightening around him and I’m enjoying it, moving and feeling the new weight in me. Fast forward he acts like he doesn’t know me and I have a mini break down finding out he used me so he could say he bagged a virgin.  And i’m all  devastated thinking I could’ve saved it for somebody I loved or loved me back. And I had it for so long and I just feel ruined. This panic, that it’s gone and I wasted it on that turtle head. And I  know I could never have it back. Long story short I’ve been looking at guys with the side eye ever since lol.

Boy am I extra.


I had some free time today and I was thinking about happiness. When I’m happy I tend to want to make people happy when I’m sad I want them to feel it too , all the pain and you  hate them just because they are happy . I love to laugh therefore I love to give jokes,  the laugh that makes your jaw hurt, lungs cramp and you start crying from all the laughter  building up inside. If something happens in my day no matter  how trivial it is I want no need to tell people about it because it made me happy so I want to the see the excitement on peoples faces. I like to see them feel good. It sorta also makes you feel good like your the giver of something, makes you feel high. But I realised that also bringing bad news or finding the negativity in your day to relate to people no matter how small can stress people out because sometimes they think its a bigger problem based on how your expressing yourself. You start and don’t even realise that you’ve turned bitter and  every time something happens you see the negative in it, it affects you and your health as well. The mind is a powerful thing, use it carefully. Everyday find something good out of all the bad to relay to someone and most importantly yourself.

Find something at least one thing everyday to be happy or grateful about. Just one. If you’re reading this i’m thankful that you would even spare a minute to read something I wrote. Time is the most precious thing to give to someone. All those minutes add up. It’s something you never get back and for that I am forever happy.

Find something to be thankful for. Also be nice to some one, you never know how much you can change a persons day or self perception. We’re all humans.

What makes you happy?


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